When a Vault member asked a question I couldn't stop thinking about
A few weeks ago, a member of The Stoic Vault posted something that stopped me mid-scroll.
His name is Mike. He’s a 44-year-old dad living in the US. He runs a nonprofit that gives computers to people in need. He’s raising kids. He’s doing real work in the world.
And he wrote this:
I feel enraged, angry, but also defeated and sad. And my kids are getting old enough to be aware of what’s going on, asking questions and sharing their concerns. It’s gut wrenching to watch my 9 year old cry because he’s worried ICE is going to arrest our amazing neighbor.
I want to fight… I want to fix it… I want to scream, or cry… Or maybe some mix of all of it. But these problems are so much bigger than any one person. So I end up lying in bed at night either fuming mad, or deeply sad, but unable to do anything about it.
Then he asked a question that I think a lot of people are quietly sitting with right now:
What wisdom can Stoicism offer here?
Twenty-five comments followed. People shared what they were struggling with, what was working, what wasn’t. It became one of those threads where you can feel people actually thinking together rather than performing opinions.
And I couldn’t let it go.
Because the standard Stoic advice — “just focus on what you can control” — is not only unhelpful in moments like this. It’s not even accurate. Marcus Aurelius wrote that you can commit injustice by doing nothing. Epictetus didn’t teach withdrawal. The Stoics weren’t suggesting you curl up with your journal while the world burns.
They were saying something harder. And more useful.
So I made a video about it.
It covers the biggest misconception about the dichotomy of control, what the Stoics actually believed about our responsibility to others, why anger is a terrible strategist, and three practical approaches you can use when the problems feel too big.
If you know someone who’s struggling with this right now — and it seems like a lot of people are — feel free to send it their way.
Go well.
Jon
Jon. Thank you for this! Given everything that’s going on in the world I have not been applying the DC properly. It’s been a way to justify retreating into the inner circles. That needs to change. Thank you so much for this.