I keep on coming back to my maxim that pain is inevitable but misery is optional. In terms of working with desire and aversion, I am made to think about the setting of expectations: that is, having a mental picture of an outcome that is good for what I desire or preferred to be averted. What comes up to me is the act of letting go, it's the acceptance regardless of the outcome. I am also being made aware of my tendencies of having no expectations as contrasted with expecting for the worst case scenario. This is where discernment comes in, by being able to 'think' of a worst case scenario, this allows me the opportunity to examine whether an action needs to be taken (pursue or avoid). If it's something that I can suffer with, then I'll take action. If not, then I'll let go (status quo or acceptance). After the decision has been made, it is then necessary to shift the focus outside the potential outcome, and back to 'real and actual world'. There's no more wallowing in the anxiety of a worst case scenario but instead be in the mode of having no expectations, and therefore be free from fear and anxiety.
I like that this article also pointed out that just because something that is not within our control doesn't mean we have to avoid it. This is where the act of courage comes in. Our default mode of reacting is to avoid any form of challenge because it can get uncomfortable and failure can mean death (in the form of embarrassment, shame or even physical pain). This is where discernment again comes in, if it does us good -- therefore this is something worth pursuing (for how else to unlock man's potential but to do something difficult and succeed in it?).
Stoicism therefore doesn't necessarily promote numbness nor mediocrity by letting go of things that is outside of our control. Rather, it promotes the use of rationality, to live with virtue -- do what is good, and the circumstances (the real world) unfold itself and BE -- instead of falling under the trap of fear and anxiety or not being able to function at all (which then hinders us to realize our potential).
I keep on coming back to my maxim that pain is inevitable but misery is optional. In terms of working with desire and aversion, I am made to think about the setting of expectations: that is, having a mental picture of an outcome that is good for what I desire or preferred to be averted. What comes up to me is the act of letting go, it's the acceptance regardless of the outcome. I am also being made aware of my tendencies of having no expectations as contrasted with expecting for the worst case scenario. This is where discernment comes in, by being able to 'think' of a worst case scenario, this allows me the opportunity to examine whether an action needs to be taken (pursue or avoid). If it's something that I can suffer with, then I'll take action. If not, then I'll let go (status quo or acceptance). After the decision has been made, it is then necessary to shift the focus outside the potential outcome, and back to 'real and actual world'. There's no more wallowing in the anxiety of a worst case scenario but instead be in the mode of having no expectations, and therefore be free from fear and anxiety.
I like that this article also pointed out that just because something that is not within our control doesn't mean we have to avoid it. This is where the act of courage comes in. Our default mode of reacting is to avoid any form of challenge because it can get uncomfortable and failure can mean death (in the form of embarrassment, shame or even physical pain). This is where discernment again comes in, if it does us good -- therefore this is something worth pursuing (for how else to unlock man's potential but to do something difficult and succeed in it?).
Stoicism therefore doesn't necessarily promote numbness nor mediocrity by letting go of things that is outside of our control. Rather, it promotes the use of rationality, to live with virtue -- do what is good, and the circumstances (the real world) unfold itself and BE -- instead of falling under the trap of fear and anxiety or not being able to function at all (which then hinders us to realize our potential).
Exercise the ability to say no to what is within one's control. Exercise the ability to say yes to choice, but not desire.